I'm still alive ...

hey, I remind days that I wrote something about my life and I didn't post such thing here .
after about 1 years I'm comming with lots of news about my life .
I've finished full 3 terms of my University and now i'm in term 4 .
unfortunately I can just say I never want to back in my life in term 3 at winter , after many years life I haven't any bad days as this 6 months shit ago .
I was in Major Depression 'cuze of bad feeling of my soul also when I started my metaphysics stuff after 2 months I've encountered to meta stuffs and this was one of the reasons that I afoulled to MD (major depression) , also when I gave my Programming exam good and I thought I'll get the best grade when I recieved my grade I got no chanse to keep my feeling good and I cryed !
after all of that events new year arrived and one day I decide to talk with my conscience .
I went to park and sit on the bench, I wrote lots of things to myself and I read 'em all about 5-6 .
I wrote about my delays on works, about afraids that I had about almost everything around myself, also I wrote about times that I wasted and in the last I wrote about my progressive life in my before life .
I thought some days, some hours and etc ...
I deicded to say myself "I can do anything what I want ". I buys many books about conquering the soul and arriving to success in life, all of them were great but nothing is better than to talk about my problems and shits with God, I was a very low patience guy , but I need patience as good as others that god gave me, after meeting some Drs no one can help me as much as God !
when I finished my pray I taled with the great God and everything that I need I said to God and luckilly God see me as always and gave everything I want as soon as possible .
as All of you know patience isn't a thing which a body can got it and enjoy of this holy crap, everything for arriving need lots of times and patience and trying to recieve to the Goal but after about 15 days God gave my holy crap "patience" !!! .
I have a Good feeling after this kindness of my best (god) and I want to say as always "My God, I love you and want to arrive to you and do the best as I can :)"
thanks again to my god

cheers,
-Genius